March 2004 Archives

A Cantonese Opera troupe gets mixed up with a platoon of ghost soldiers seeking revenge. Lots of atmosphere, little action.

In John Woo's Peking Opera film, a scholarly Lao Sheng slides down a banister in slow motion, a gun in each hand, mowing down the Jing in an explosion of blood and doves...well, no, not really. This is a classic retelling of the well known Chinese Opera story, The Emperor's Daughter.

Bloody awful, more like. Veteran actor Roy Cheung, who can often turn in memorable and exciting supporting performances, is dull as white toast as the star in this mystery about a murdered teacher stuffed in a box. Roy Cheung is the cop investigating, but instead he is distracted by his partner horning in on his wife, whom he's not particularly interested in anyway, since he is so busy dating the beautiful main suspect, Pinky Cheung. A lot of twists and turns come at the end, as a bit of congratulations for those able to make it there. All things considered, I'd rather be watching Colombo.

When Lok To's (Michelle Reis) new neighbors move in, Uncle Jet (Francis Ng) finds the previous tenant has been stealing all of her mail, including 99 letters from her boyfriend in Paris. Her boyfriend has given up, but Uncle Jet decides he just may have a way to get them back together again -- open a bakery. The only problem is that he begins to have feelings for Lok To himself. A sweet romance which hits all the right notes. But it would be completely forgettable anyway were it not for the character of Uncle Jet, a senior member of a large Hakka clan. The character is unique, and as played by Francis Ng, charming and real.

There are a lot of problems with this science fiction spectacle film, beginning with the fact that it was originally intended to be based on the "Tekken" arcade game, until Namco got wind and got ready to sue. No doubt the abrupt rewrite, while keeping most of the character costumes intact, makes the film more disjointed than in should be. The story concerns government experiments on cops to create superwarriors who could use 100% of their brain (fancy that) and harness a special power glove which enhances their abilities. Combat 12 (Roy Cheung) takes his glove and turns evil, and it's up to a whole bunch of good guys who like to fight to get together and save the day. A great cast, with Sammo Hung, Yuen Biao, Stephen Fung, Gigi Leung, Kristy Yeung, and Chin Kar-Lok. But inexplicably the movie stars the uncharismatic and untalented Wen Hon Lee. Where's Nic Tse when you need him? The future is loaded with CGI, and though much of it is used to create a cheap BLADE RUNNER -- no, cheap FIFTH ELEMENT knock-off aesthetic, some of it is quite good. Sammo makes a grand and powerful entrance. Stephen Fung fights a creature right out of a game of UNREAL. And so on. Despite this films many, many flaws, I enjoyed it quite a bit. Don't know how it compares to the video game, but it has a distinct live-action Japanese anime feel to it (especially the fights), and it is at least better than Van Damme's STREET FIGHTER.

If you asked who you had to sleep with to get a decent part in a Hong Kong film, the answer is most decidedly not Jackie Chan, since Elaine Ng, recent mother of his illegitimate child, ended up in this dross. She's a killer, and the cop she beats on throughout the film does a lot of decidedly Jackie-ish mannerisms. Coincidence? Probably not, though the plot of this wreck of a film is full of them. Early on, our hero, a pathetic cop, loses his job and tries to kill himself but regrettably does not succeed. So the police give him his job back. Gee, I didn't know that was such a good way to solve all my problems, thanks for the tip. He travels to the Philippines, a sort of Mecca for all low budget films, and there meets his ICQ buddy "Grasshopper," who he thought was a man but turns out to be a beautiful, kung-fu lesbian (Almen Wong). When two of the good guys are killed at the same time, two of the other good guys cradle them and take turns performing laughably bad dying monologues. Poor Almen. Love her to death, but her career is following a familiar trajectory: burst onto the scene with a splashy action picture or two, then supporting roles in a few, then made-in-the-Philippines crap, and out.

Jackie Chan is once again in globetrotting mode, this time hitting all the tourist destinations in Istanbul. Having been there myself just recently, spotting all the locations was half the fun. Which is a good thing, since the movie itself is only half as fun as it could have been. The plot, rather complicated for a Jackie Chan film, involves his search for his father and his father's inheritance, which leads to international intrigue and the recovery of a deadly virus. For no apparent reason, a remake of SPEED is tacked on at the end, and it is exciting, but pointless. Eric Tsang has a good bit part, but some of the other actors are terrible, including one woman who speaks English and is supposed to be CIA, but pronounces "Athens" as "Ay-thens." Embarrassing.

Nicholas Tse is the head cop in a special, secret ghostbusting crime unit, and his partner, played by Sam Lee, is a ghost. But when Lee reincarnates, he needs to find someone new -- and ends up with fresh-faced traffic cop Stephen Fung. Together they track down a "fire ghost" in a burned out rave club, where they find the ghost's boyfriend, a "water ghost" to be a deadly opponent. This film is a visual delight, borrowing liberally the look and feel from films like MEN IN BLACK, THE MATRIX, and BATMAN AND ROBIN, though for some reason I felt most of all reminded of THE LOST BOYS. They're all blended into a stew which pours out uniquely Hong Kong and completely enjoyable.

It has been ten years since the original Encounter of the Spooky Kind, and the horror-comedy landscape has changed. Whereas the original movie was really giving the genre it's start, the sequel sits on the other end of the spectrum, when the genre was in decline. Encounter of the Spooky Kind 2 breaks very little new ground plot-wise, and in fact looks more like a Mr. Vampire sequel than anything else.

A hopping vampire falls out of a plane, and lands in South Africa, where a little bushman discovers it, and is not sure what to do. Sure is a hell of a lot more confusing than that Coke bottle was, that's for sure.

Lam Ching-Ying is back with another supernatural adventure, only this time, he isn't a Taoist priest, he's a cop! Well, not really. Actually he's a cop AND a Taoist priest. This film had me hooked before the opening credits even finished.

It's right in the middle of the Cultural Revolution and Cheung Il (Kent Cheng) is being denounced by his son, waving Mao's little red book and shouting that he now 'has no family except the state.' It's out with the old and in with the new, too bad that old Ming vase being tossed away has a demon trapped inside, waiting to get out...

Just when you thought the series was going to lay down and die, it jumps right back up and starts hopping around! Ultimate Vampire is really more of a series of vignettes than a film, following the adventures of the Taoist sifu (Lam Ching-Ying) and his two students (Chin Siu-Ho and Wong Pan), but it holds together well because of the strength of its ideas. Of course, the presence of Lam Ching-Ying doesn't hurt, either.

Lam Ching-Ying, Chin Siu-Ho, and Ricky Hui, the original Sifu and disciples, renuite to fight angry Hell Babies, and, of course, more hopping vampires.

n one of the earliest examples of the horror-comedy genre, we can see the concepts of the genre taking shape: the Taoist priest, the undead, and the slapstick comedy are all there. But unlike later horror-comedy movies, Enounter of the Spooky Kind sticks closely to traditional Chinese beliefs about ghosts, corpses, and the Tao, instead of merging them with Hollywood monsters and vampires.

Do you like little cute kids playing vampires? Do you like watching loud, whiny, fat children? Say no more! This is the film for you!

Lam Ching-Ying stars as the Taoist sifu in the movie that made hopping vampires a staple of Hong Kong cinema and Lam Ching-Ying a household name. The fun begins when Lam and his assistants attempt to rebury a businessman who refuses to stay dead.

Another shot on video cheapie from Small Siu and B&S Creative Films Workshop, and not even the presence of mid-level talent like Cecilia Yip, Kenny B, and Shing Fui On can save it. Four girls live it up and get into trouble when one of them gambles too much and the others have to pay off her debt or else become prostitutes. But that doesn't happen until an hour into the film -- up until then, absolutely nothing happens. It's excruciating. Once some semblance of plot does finally kick in, it's too little, too late. The cast of youngsters are familiar faces from B&S's long running TROUBLESOME NIGHT series; thankfully, their acting has improved somewhat. Kenny B only appears in flashbacks as the dead husband of the titular Chinese Orthopedist (Cecilia Yip). If you're watching it on VCD, just put in the second disc and call it a day. These characters aren't worth taking the time to develop.